small update

small update. taylor is getting big. wish i could get a job that wasn't temporary. love where i am living wish i had my tags all updated. other then that we are good.


note this was done with my cellular

sorry....

for not being so active. i moved and hit a bump in the finace department. still looking for work and not finding anything. when i get back home from mom's i am going to put in a resume to a car lot looking for a data entry job.

monkey is growing up fast. is happy where we are.
my car broke down and well taking my time fixing it as money is tight.
my friend has decided to move to florida finally. she is here and likes it. i am happier but wish i could get my divorce over with already.
waiting on florida to make up its mind if they are gonna approve us for asstiance or not.
monkey has dealt with a viral mouth infection the past week. seems to be going away.
one of my roomies has taken to her so much. i wish my divorce would hurry up so i can move on with my life.

well that is it for now. sorry about the grammar part i am pretty out of it.
got any questions just leave a comment.

So everyone wants me to cut her bangs...

I REFUSE!!! I don't like bangs and don't want Monkey to have them. So I say HELL NO. Just wish everyone would leave me be about it.

Update... Middle of the night... can't sleep

I am sitting here finished reading the last of the Twilight Saga and was like hmm haven't updated in a while. We have been moving my mother from one home to her new one down the road. (mental note update the address to important people) Not much as changed Monkey is growing by leaps and bounds and is talking a lot more. She is my little toddler. I see more of her intelligence everyday. She is soooo smart. I am doing ok just dealing with some not being able to sleep issues tonight. Just stressing about looking for work and the fact that my car is once again acting up. (mental note maybe think about another car) I sit here in the dark listening to my mother and daughter snore and giggle to myself. Why couldn't life always be this happy?

I have found that place in my life where I have never been happier. I take it all in day by day. I hope to never lose the happiness I have right now in my life. I feel complete is all I can say. Monkey is happy too. She never has a worry in the world any longer. I can't explain the joy I have every time I look in her eyes. I need to get a camera so that I can take pictures to capture that look in her eyes. I fear the day that stress of day to day will take that look away. I hope she over comes it and will always be my happy little girl. I to have found that happiness and cling to it fearlessly.

I wait for the day that my certified mail comes to see what kind of divorce I will have. I fear I will have to go and fight it. I won't give up my daughter without a fight. I am doing what I feel is best for her. I will fight until I can no longer breath. I have been her primary care taker since she was born. I am still her primary care taker. I have no help from her father and have asked for nothing from him but our divorce. In the beginning I offered him time with her and he would never set a date or compromise with me so I don't see where I am doing anything wrong with trying to get on my feet and care for her fully on my own. I have my mother's help right now and will be on my way soon to full Independence from everyone. I just wish he would make up his mind if he wants to be around her or not. I moved so that I could get on my own. I didn't do this to hurt anyone. I needed the support of a caring family and that is why I moved. I just wish people would get that. My family is all I have to help me through this. I left him due to not being able to be compatible with each other. I am finally happy on my own with my friends and family. I am loved and happy that way.

I have a question for everyone. I know people see my blog but no one leaves comments. I am kinda hurt. Why read a blog and then leave not a single comment weather bad or good or just a hey I saw this and wanted to say I was here? Oh well I write this to give me and out in my own bubble of thoughts. Just was kinda hurt.

Thanks for reading this everyone!!!!

Life is rocking!!!!!

So, I went to brunch with a friend. Tinker was awesome. The food sucked!!



I wonder somethimes what I will tell Tinker when she is older and she asks me why her daddy isn't around. I plan on telling her that her father and I chose not to stay together cause we didn't get along. I feel that is the best I can tell her until she can fully understand why. I plan on telling her the truth of what happened and why I left.



Back to why life is rocking.



I have been happier now then I have ever been. Well except the other day when people tried to start drama with me. I am around people that truely care for me and want me to succeed!!! I am just so happy. LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!!

a small piece of heaven...

When i look into my daughters eyes i swear it is a small piece of heaven. I hope and pray she never loses that look in her eyes. She is the reason i wake everyday. I wonder how anyone could give her up. She is quirky and smart. She is 2 and I am so amazed at her everyday. I wonder what she thinks when she gets to playing with something. She has started asking me questions about things. I fear the day she actually understands everything. She is just to damn interesting. I love my daughter with all my heart. I love to watch her sleep. Not only is it time i get to have to myself but she is so darn cute!!!

A little about what I will blog about and some history...

I am trying to keep an open record of my feelings and a running record of day to day things that single moms deal with.
I have been raising my daughter since Sept. '08 Her father and I had a fight that could not be fixed. I decided for the safety of her and myself to leave. I have struggled with life since. I recently came home to my mothers house. I am currently working on divorce and getting paternity established for Monkey.
I am dealing right now with a decision that I feel I shouldn't have to make. My daughters father seems to not want anything to do with her. I find it hard to understand his feelings on wanting nothing to do with her. It seems it is all or nothing with him. I just want Monkey to have her parents in her life. My decision is either to fight him for childsupport or give him the easy way out and ask for his rights. I fight the pros and cons everyday. I am open to suggestions if anyone has any.

My personal experiance as a single mommy.

I have decided to start blogging again. I miss it horribly.


Things have changed drastically since this post was made. So, I am going to revise it but keep the original post at the bottom. I have since gotten married. 

Me- I am mom, Fox, Mrs. B, or Mrs. A

Hubby- Dad, Mr. M, or Mr. A

The Daughter- R, Little Miss, or whatever name we have decided to call her at that moment.

Then we have the farm animals who we will do a complete post on at a later date. 

A little about us.

Me- I am Fox. I try to keep names out of my blogs so I come up with nick names. I am 27 yrs old and have become a single mommy. I am working on a relationship with an old friend that is taking its time. I am in no rush to get into another relationship. I am a very protective mother. My daughter is my number one and will always be my number one.

Monkey- is also known as Tinker or other names- is 2 years old and the love and center of my life. She is also kept close and protected. I don't let everyone meet her in person. She hasn't seen her father since Sept. 08. That is by his choice. I have tried very hard to keep in contact with him. He has said a few times that he isn't even sure if she is his. I know she is. We are going through a divorce and dealing with establishing paternity. Right now my daughter needs to heal and learn how much she is loved by the ones who love her.

Grand Ma- is my mother age is unknown- she is my back up in my life. I love her no matter how much she may cause me grief by being my mom.

PopPop- is my Father age also unknown- he is a truck driver that tries to see us when he can. We all love him dearly.

Grand Pa- is my step-father age not important- he keeps my mother happy and is currently deployed in Iraq.

Now we have my brothers:

Starting with the oldest

DarkBoxPlayer-21
Viral-18
Shadow-12
LegoMan-10
and last but not least
Peanut-4