Saturday, August 29, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
monkey is growing up fast. is happy where we are.
my car broke down and well taking my time fixing it as money is tight.
my friend has decided to move to florida finally. she is here and likes it. i am happier but wish i could get my divorce over with already.
waiting on florida to make up its mind if they are gonna approve us for asstiance or not.
monkey has dealt with a viral mouth infection the past week. seems to be going away.
one of my roomies has taken to her so much. i wish my divorce would hurry up so i can move on with my life.
well that is it for now. sorry about the grammar part i am pretty out of it.
got any questions just leave a comment.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Josie- 6 months- self,standard,champagne- she is the first
Ashleigh-5 months- Veriberk,dumbo,blue/white
Sophie-5 months- Berk,dumbo,blue/white
We adore them. I am working on gathering supplies and plans on a new home for them. I can't wait!!!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
I am currently working on getting a job and a way to and from work. We just moved and lord is the house and life in upheaval. I just can't put my head around anything right now. I am working on keeping my relationship with my best friend OK. I am scared to do anything to hurt "us". Monkey is growing like a weed and well learning by leaps and bounds. I just hope I can keep her discipline in check. Our pet rat keeps escaping in the middle of the night to sleep on me. It is NUTS. I am holding up pretty well just get kinda down some days. Thinking to much I think. I hope I can deal with my issues and get past this last chapter in my life. I am so ready to be completely done with all of it.
I wish I had a little more privacy in my life right now. I can deal. (I think) I am thinking of starting to get themes to blog about as I am starting to get bored with just random updates. I don't know how many people actually read my blog. Wish I knew.
I am thinking about learning how to write in HTML so I can edit my blogs a little better.
I am debating on investing in getting a blogging program and buying my name so it will be short and simple. I don't know yet.
I have just been told I type fast. (laughing to myself on that one)
I almost had a complete melt down today due to my brothers. They don't freaking know how to LISTEN. I wish they did. I just can't figure out why they do this. When their father is home they mind him completely. He is overseas right now and they don't want to listen to anyone unless you are going to spank their butts. I just don't get them. I am so tired of it. So, I snapped today.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I am sitting here finished reading the last of the Twilight Saga and was like hmm haven't updated in a while. We have been moving my mother from one home to her new one down the road. (mental note update the address to important people) Not much as changed Monkey is growing by leaps and bounds and is talking a lot more. She is my little toddler. I see more of her intelligence everyday. She is soooo smart. I am doing ok just dealing with some not being able to sleep issues tonight. Just stressing about looking for work and the fact that my car is once again acting up. (mental note maybe think about another car) I sit here in the dark listening to my mother and daughter snore and giggle to myself. Why couldn't life always be this happy?
I have found that place in my life where I have never been happier. I take it all in day by day. I hope to never lose the happiness I have right now in my life. I feel complete is all I can say. Monkey is happy too. She never has a worry in the world any longer. I can't explain the joy I have every time I look in her eyes. I need to get a camera so that I can take pictures to capture that look in her eyes. I fear the day that stress of day to day will take that look away. I hope she over comes it and will always be my happy little girl. I to have found that happiness and cling to it fearlessly.
I wait for the day that my certified mail comes to see what kind of divorce I will have. I fear I will have to go and fight it. I won't give up my daughter without a fight. I am doing what I feel is best for her. I will fight until I can no longer breath. I have been her primary care taker since she was born. I am still her primary care taker. I have no help from her father and have asked for nothing from him but our divorce. In the beginning I offered him time with her and he would never set a date or compromise with me so I don't see where I am doing anything wrong with trying to get on my feet and care for her fully on my own. I have my mother's help right now and will be on my way soon to full Independence from everyone. I just wish he would make up his mind if he wants to be around her or not. I moved so that I could get on my own. I didn't do this to hurt anyone. I needed the support of a caring family and that is why I moved. I just wish people would get that. My family is all I have to help me through this. I left him due to not being able to be compatible with each other. I am finally happy on my own with my friends and family. I am loved and happy that way.
I have a question for everyone. I know people see my blog but no one leaves comments. I am kinda hurt. Why read a blog and then leave not a single comment weather bad or good or just a hey I saw this and wanted to say I was here? Oh well I write this to give me and out in my own bubble of thoughts. Just was kinda hurt.
Thanks for reading this everyone!!!!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I wonder somethimes what I will tell Tinker when she is older and she asks me why her daddy isn't around. I plan on telling her that her father and I chose not to stay together cause we didn't get along. I feel that is the best I can tell her until she can fully understand why. I plan on telling her the truth of what happened and why I left.
Back to why life is rocking.
I have been happier now then I have ever been. Well except the other day when people tried to start drama with me. I am around people that truely care for me and want me to succeed!!! I am just so happy. LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
I have been raising my daughter since Sept. '08 Her father and I had a fight that could not be fixed. I decided for the safety of her and myself to leave. I have struggled with life since. I recently came home to my mothers house. I am currently working on divorce and getting paternity established for Monkey.
I am dealing right now with a decision that I feel I shouldn't have to make. My daughters father seems to not want anything to do with her. I find it hard to understand his feelings on wanting nothing to do with her. It seems it is all or nothing with him. I just want Monkey to have her parents in her life. My decision is either to fight him for childsupport or give him the easy way out and ask for his rights. I fight the pros and cons everyday. I am open to suggestions if anyone has any.
Things have changed drastically since this post was made. So, I am going to revise it but keep the original post at the bottom. I have since gotten married.
Me- I am mom, Fox, Mrs. B, or Mrs. A
Hubby- Dad, Mr. M, or Mr. A
The Daughter- R, Little Miss, or whatever name we have decided to call her at that moment.
Then we have the farm animals who we will do a complete post on at a later date.
A little about us.
Me- I am Fox. I try to keep names out of my blogs so I come up with nick names. I am 27 yrs old and have become a single mommy. I am working on a relationship with an old friend that is taking its time. I am in no rush to get into another relationship. I am a very protective mother. My daughter is my number one and will always be my number one.
Monkey- is also known as Tinker or other names- is 2 years old and the love and center of my life. She is also kept close and protected. I don't let everyone meet her in person. She hasn't seen her father since Sept. 08. That is by his choice. I have tried very hard to keep in contact with him. He has said a few times that he isn't even sure if she is his. I know she is. We are going through a divorce and dealing with establishing paternity. Right now my daughter needs to heal and learn how much she is loved by the ones who love her.
Grand Ma- is my mother age is unknown- she is my back up in my life. I love her no matter how much she may cause me grief by being my mom.
PopPop- is my Father age also unknown- he is a truck driver that tries to see us when he can. We all love him dearly.
Grand Pa- is my step-father age not important- he keeps my mother happy and is currently deployed in Iraq.
Now we have my brothers:
Starting with the oldest
and last but not least